I open my eyes to the rays of sunlight tickling my nose. Taking a look at my clock on the nightstand and some time to fully wake up, I realize it’s my 30th birthday. Knowing my partner, Aislynn, they must’ve planned some sort of surprise, since they’re not lying beside me. I contemplate if I should get up or stay in bed. Eventually, my curiosity gets the better of me, and I arise.
As I shuffle downstairs, still in my pyjamas, I notice how silent it is. How did Aislynn get the children to be this quiet for so long? I’m just about to peek around the wall separating the kitchen from the staircase, as I hear a loud and clear ‘Meow’. I startle and turn around. We don’t have a cat! Why did I hear a cat? I look down to see a small orange cat, looking up at me. Did Aislynn get me a cat? But then where are they? And where are the children?
I shuffle to the kitchen, still confused about what’s happening, to look at the family calendar. Maybe I had the wrong date in mind? Or maybe they forgot? I sprint upstairs to get my phone and text them. Although, when I get to our bedroom, I can’t find it. Desperate to find out what is going on, I dress myself hastily and run outside. I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for, but I’m sure I’ll find it out here.
I frantically run from store to store, from playground to playground, from school to school but I find nothing. People must think I’m a maniac, which I definitely am not. But the city’s full of people I have never seen and full of places I seem to never have visited before. The posters of the people running for president or of the ads for the new ice cream flavour seem new to me, in fact, I don’t even know the brand of the ice cream and I could swear, we voted for a new president four months ago.
My breathing picks up and everything starts spinning. Ever since I woke up I haven’t seen one familiar thing. I start thinking. Why is Aislynn gone? Where are our children? Why do I have a cat? Where are all the places I knew? I know nothing. I feel like a stranger in the city I grew up in, a stranger to the people I can’t find, a stranger to my house, my home, a stranger to myself. I look at the playground in front of me. I have the feeling, I should remember it and I do have some distant memory of the green slide and the red swings connected to the climbing tower but it’s not a picture in my head. It’s more of a feeling. The feeling of nostalgia, grief, a sentimental longing over the loss of a significant memory.
Where is the playground Aislynn and I met 19 years ago? I’m certain it was this spot, but the slide is in a different place, and it didn’t have the swings yet. I must be dreaming! Yes, that’s it! In a few minutes, I’ll wake up lying beside Aislynn, our children yelling for us to get up and we can celebrate my 30th birthday without further worries. Right? I make my way back to the house, still convincing myself that this is a dream.
I walk through the blue front door, I can’t remember painting it blue; through the entrance I don’t remember decorating, back to the kitchen I’ve never cooked a meal in. If this was a dream, why am I not awake yet? I take a look in the fridge to find a blue birthday cake. Is it mine? I don’t remember buying or decorating it. When I slowly take it out and put it on the counter, a small note falls out from underneath. I bend down to pick it up. The handwriting doesn’t seem familiar to me.
Happy birthday love,
don’t forget your meds!
X Aknah
Who is meds? MY meds?? My pulse quickens. What does Aknah mean? Who even is Aknah? How did she get access to this house? The room starts spinning as realisation kicks in. My meds. I forgot the medication. Aislynn isn’t real. Fake. Everything was fake.
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