I never understood what teenage girls from my school found so cool about cheerleading.
I wasn’t really the type to jump with little mini skirt with colorful pompoms and cheer for boys.
And yet here I was. Auditioning to becoming a cheerleader. Just to see her more often.
“What is your name?” the middle one asked.
There were three girls sitting at the judge table. Typical blonde mean girls if you ask me.
“Emily Ronson.”
“Alright. Go ahead.”
“Okay.”
–
School bell ringing
Every girl that did the addiction that morning rushed down the hallway. Only a few girls had been accepted to be part of the “Shooting Star -Cheerleaders”. It was not a surprise that I hadn’t been accepted. But Ashly Jones Sench did.
I knew A.J since we were little girls. She had always tried to be perfect. In whatever she did and said, as if that would have been the only way to be accepted. Whatever she said and did was to be liked by her parents, the teacher, those girls, and the boys.
Ashley scanned the list and turned her head to me.
“Oh my god, I got it.”
“Oh my god.”
Have you ever liked somebody so much for so long that you found it so late to tell them what you felt? I always liked A.J. She always made me laugh and her smile, laugh, face and how smart she really was, always made me want to be with her. To be hers.
–
White micro skirt with a simple white t-shirt, high white socks, and white sport shoes.
That was what the uniform.
“Hey”
“Hey, how are you?”
In only a couple of weeks A.J and I had lost contact. She was one of the cheerleaders now. I mean I wasn’t mad about it. It just meant that I wasn’t part of her social life anymore.
“Good, Thx. Nice seeing you.”
“Good…Would you like to go out tonight?”
I was surprised but happy.
“I can’t. I work tonight.”
In my hands A.J s Birthday party invitation. A sleepover.
“I don’t think I can come…” I told A.J
“What! No, please. At least try. Okay? “
“Sure.”
At the sleepover
A.J was sleeping. I wasn’t. It felt weird looking at her.
“You can’t sleep?” A.J said, still with her eyes closed.
“No.”
We looked at each other. Nothing to talk about.
“Do you find yourself good with the cheerleaders?”
“Yes…”
“How is it going with…”
“Mark? Good.”
“Good, he is fine. And you? Are there any guy in class that you like?”
“No”
“Isn’t Aaron Cross in your class.”
“Yeah, why?”
“Didn’t you have a crush on him.”
“What…”
“You always wrote little poems. Do you still write?”
“Sometimes”
“About what”
“You”
My eyes opened wide. She looked at me.
“Can I read them” she asked.
“I don’t think I want to ruin our friendship. A.J I…”
“It’s really late…, maybe we should sleep.”
She interrupted me. Scared of my feelings.
That night I understood that she would have never seen me.
At the “A Taste of Heaven” Diner
It’s Sunday afternoon.
I am at the restaurant. I had to jump in for Jess since her hamster died last night. A heart attack. A lot of hamsters die like that. The slightest thing can kill them.
“Hey”
“Hi” what are you doing here.
A.J was in front of me.
I don’t think I have to tell you that she looked good.
“Double date”
“My eyes shifted on where she was pointing. The table next the first window. Max, Lily, and Mark.
“Cool”
I realized after the cool that I had that table. Not so cool anymore.
“Okay.” She took a death breath as if she wanted something.
“Have a nice evening.” I replied.
After the sleepover this awkward feeling surrounded us. These unspoken words.
I think I am falling for you.
I think I fell something for you.
Or maybe it was just me.
The afternoon became night. And they had ordered two burgers, a Saturday morning special (Pancakes with maple sirup), the “Emotional” Salad and four strawberry-vanilla milkshakes.
They still sat there. You could hear their laughter. Not A.Js though.
She just sat there. Smiled when they looked at her, but for the rest of the time she searched for me.
I hadn’t been invited the prom, but that didn’t really matter. She was the only one I wanted to put a flower around her wrist, or I only wanted her to do that to me.
I am wearing a long indigo silk dress with a classic A-line cut. Simple.
Mom was part of the holders, so we drove together.
I haven’t seen A.J since the night at the Diner. Good four week had pasted. I mean I did see her in the halls, but it was just a “Hi”. It was always just a “Hi” with her.
“A.J, everything okay”
“Yes” she looked at me with those beautiful eyes.
“I understood everything.”
“What”
“You… You and I”
You uhhh are the one that makes me feel good. You listen to me and… and love me for what I am, for the bad grades, when I am not perfect. Haha. What even means that’ I feel good with you, and I am so sorry that I reactant in that way. That night. You tried to tell me, and I just interrupted you. scared of that but now…I think I am falling… falling for you.
Those things that you said that night what love really means. That is what I want. And you have shown me That love all those years… since little.
I don’t know what faced I had. If I was happy, relieved or in love.
Trust me I really thought that it was over. That my heart had accepted and understood the fact that it would have never been anything.
But there we were. Kissing. In our prom dresses. In the middle of the hall unbothered by everyone.
“Hi”
“Hi”
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